Dr Grump's grumbles No 1: Einstein.
Dr Grump was in a particularly black mood today. I knew there was going to be trouble because she was walking so quickly her stillettos were making sparks against the concrete floor in the communal space outside our office.
'What is it?' I asked.
'Einstein. Looks like he was right, dammit.'
I waited while she shoved back her hair so viciously that the skin of her forehead was temporarily drained of blood. 'Well, aren't you going to ask me why?'
'Why?' I said.
'Black holes.' She was being deliberately mysterious. It is one of less attractive features.
'If Einstein was wrong then black holes wouldn't exist and that would be one less thing to worry about. Ever since I first heard about these things the thought of them has terrified me so much I have avoided looking into space. I imagine a black hole coming and the stars going out one by one.'
'It wouldn't happen like that.' I said. 'I think there would be some sort of warning.'
But she wasn't listening. ' I hate the thought of space,' she said. 'It makes everything we do on this tiny planet so insignificant and futile. Eating, killing, drinking, having sex, children... talking to you.'
I smiled.
'Especially talking to you.' she said, and a few more sparks flew from her heels.
'What is it?' I asked.
'Einstein. Looks like he was right, dammit.'
I waited while she shoved back her hair so viciously that the skin of her forehead was temporarily drained of blood. 'Well, aren't you going to ask me why?'
'Why?' I said.
'Black holes.' She was being deliberately mysterious. It is one of less attractive features.
'If Einstein was wrong then black holes wouldn't exist and that would be one less thing to worry about. Ever since I first heard about these things the thought of them has terrified me so much I have avoided looking into space. I imagine a black hole coming and the stars going out one by one.'
'It wouldn't happen like that.' I said. 'I think there would be some sort of warning.'
But she wasn't listening. ' I hate the thought of space,' she said. 'It makes everything we do on this tiny planet so insignificant and futile. Eating, killing, drinking, having sex, children... talking to you.'
I smiled.
'Especially talking to you.' she said, and a few more sparks flew from her heels.
posted by Clare Dudman at 10:53 pm
3 Comments:
Dr. Grump needs a nice cup of tea and to wear the tea cosy while she drinks it. That would make her kick off the old stilletos...
I'll try her with that one, Pot Boy. Though she is rather vain about her hair (it is long lustrous and black) so I suspect there might be protests. I'll let you know.
You should challenge her to an arm-wrestle. Win or lose that should ease her pent-up aggression.
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