I would just like to point out that the dog was right. All teddy bears costing more than say £10 should, as a matter of course, be decapacitated. My justification is as follows:
(i) they are only soft toys;
(ii) there are more important things to buy and keep - and think about, frankly;
(iii) soft toys older than their owner harbour their own weight in dust and bed-bug droppings;
(iv) treasuring other people's old soft toys is a strong indicator for the severe emotional dysfunction Rupertiski Inadequatus by proxy. Early diagnosis ensures better eventual recovery. Teddy bear decapacitation has been shown to aid this process.
(v) In view of point (iv) Barney the dog might better serve the community on a peripatetic basis as Teddy Bear warden.
(vi) However, small 45 year old white bears with crazed blue glass eyes are protected from any action. They are classified as academic bears and serve a useful role in the area of moral hygiene research and etymology.
For more details on Barney's predicament see this article.
Dr Grump would like to apologise for the recent paucity of postings. Academic affairs have been pressing, plus the Isle of Wight appears to be devoid of internet cafes.