Saturday, July 21, 2007

Tell Me About a Road that leads to a Place Where there are No Ideas

This is my third answer to the weird questions I asked about a week ago. I allow myself just 15 minutes to respond and whatever I write during this time I post here (sometimes with the minimum amount of editing).

There are some people who have brains which are perfectly smooth. This means they have no ability to connect ideas together in their minds. They can add two numbers together very well. They can say 2 + 2 = 4 but they have no idea when and how 2 + 2 = 5. Which it does sometimes because 2 is not always 2. It can sometimes be 3 or even 1. It depends on how generous the '2' is feeling.

For these people 2 will always be 2 and although they cannot form new ideas in their mind they are especially good at taking ideas that already exist and making a profit from them. They usually end up much more wealthy than people with crinkled brains but they are fundamentally unhappy because they know, deep down, that they are merely ciphers. Being a cipher is one of the most unhappy states of man because a cipher leaves nothing behind when it dies.

The smooth-brained people tend to live together where they feel safe. They build great walls around their houses and they never write blogs. They also rarely read them and that is one of their major characteristics. Sometimes the big houses of the smooth-brained coalesce. Their walls join and form bigger walls with many layers. In some places there are villages and even cities of smooth-brained people and they spend all of their days talking to each other about money and deals and pretending to be excited about the crinkled-brain people and at the same time taking their ideas and making more money out of them.

Although they prefer not to they do have to sometimes speak to the crinkled-brained people and read their blogs. There is something, a device, that stops the computers of smooth-brained people picking up too many ideas because the smooth-brain is easily overheated. Ill-temper is always the result of this which leads them to losing deals (which is the worst thing that can happen to a smooth-brain), so the best thing they can do is venture out of their high walls and visit the crinkle-brained bloggers. For this, of course they need roads.

This road leads to the place where there are ideas - but it also leads to a place where there are no ideas at all. Except for how to make money. Which doesn't count.

Bloggers should never go along this road otherwise they will very quickly become ill and die. In which case their ideas will escape from them. The crinkles (which is where the ideas are stored) will crawl from their brains back to where they come from and what is left is a smooth-brained cadaver which will be picked up and carried to the high walled city and be buried with much ceremony as one of their own.


Blogger Kay Cooke said...

I am loving this! SO much. It's got a sci fi feel to it - it's my kind of writing; whimsical, fragile, original and charming - with a twist of lemon.

Sun Jul 22, 02:20:00 am  
Blogger Jan said...

There are, Clare, folk whose brains are so smooth that a mouse could skatebooard across them...
These folk are glossily perfect; their books are alphabetically arranged on shelves in beige sittingrooms; they have polished shoes and neat handbags and they smile at the right time ( although their eyes are dull) and they stay permanently calm and they have subtly applied lipstick that never bleeds at its edges and the inside of their cars smell always of lavendar and cinnamon and there are no overdue library bks skulking under seats or mouldy tearful old onions rolling about under the drivers seat because they escaped from last weeks shopping and havent been missed...

Sun Jul 22, 01:00:00 pm  
Blogger Susanna said...

this reminds me of people who have lost thier inner child.

Mon Jul 23, 01:52:00 am  
Blogger Susanna said...

oh, I meant to also so that this was very interesting.

I cant wait to read more.

Mon Jul 23, 02:04:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Editors and Agents have smooth brains, presumably...

Mon Jul 23, 01:39:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, there are certainly smooth brains amongst agents but not all agents and most of the editors I have encountered seem to have brains that are very crinkled indeed.

I have actually encountered more smooth-brains in industry - and there are quite a few smooth-brains in education and medicine too.

But I guess the greatest preponderance of smooth brains are in the fields of politics and banking. When I look at scenes of the stock exchange and see all those people shouting and gesticulating over nothing very much - or so it seems to me - it strikes me that having the slightest crinkle in a place like that would be a big disadvantage.

Tue Jul 24, 11:45:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And thanks very much for reading CB, and Susangalique!

And Jan - I love those onions...

Tue Jul 24, 11:46:00 am  

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