Sunday, October 01, 2006

Buy a Friend A Book Competition.

Today is Buy A Friend A Book Week as initiated by Debra Hamel on Deblog. To celebrate I am going to run a competition. It is a little late - more organised people have run their competition to end at BAFABW - but mine will have to start now.

Anyway, anyway, after deliberating over this for half a day I have decided now that the competition will be....

To write a story of exactly 101 words (not including title) written using words spelt exactly as you say them (e.g. I wint downt laik an got owt me buk. Twas gud buk. I cudnat stop reedin.) The theme is 'guilty pleasures'.

The prize will be a copy of RIDDLEY WALKER by Russell Hoban which I am reading at the moment and think it is one of the most extraordinary books I have ever read (the copy will be new, of course, because I am not about to let this one go).

The closing date will be Halloween.

Later note: Please submit entries to the comment box at the bottom of this post - leaving your email address so I can reach you at the end of your 101 words. I suggest you put this in the form 'clare AT claredudman DOT com' so as not to attract spam.

(Thanks to CrimeFictionReader for reminding me of this).


Anonymous marly said...

How funny--I just left a post in single letters that can function as words (like I C U)... I dearly love Riddley Walker. I'll have to come back and see what you get! Nobody can stand more than 101 dialect words outside Riddley Walker, so that's a good limit.

Mon Oct 02, 03:43:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great idea for a competition! I followed a link from Trashionista to this, I'm already thinking about where to start writing.

Mon Oct 02, 05:54:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a joke from several years ago. The EU was developing a new & easier English that would eliminate all the silent letters, double letters, as well as w & th.

I will post a link on my blog.

Mon Oct 02, 07:25:00 pm  
Anonymous clare said...

I looked for your post Marly but couldn't see it. I must be looking in the wrong place. I shall try again. I'm glad you like Riddley Walker too. I think I might try and do a small review when I've finished.

Ah, Anon - I'm glad there is one person wiling to have a go. Looking forward to seeing it.

Aydin: that sounds interesting. I wonder if they succeeded - I expect not. When I was at school they tried teaching children to read using something called ITA. It was supposed to be more logical and easier to grasp than real English. The experiment was soon abandoned - after the children were fluent in ITA they then had to go on to the real thing. It took much longer in the end and must have been quite confusing. Luckily for me I missed the experiment by a year.

Thanks you for putting the link on your blog. I just read it - it's very funny.

Mon Oct 02, 08:40:00 pm  
Anonymous crimeficreader said...

And instructions for submitting entries Clare?

Mon Oct 02, 09:07:00 pm  
Anonymous clare said...

Duh, thanks CFR. Can you tell I've never done this sort of thing before? I'll edit the post now.

Mon Oct 02, 09:15:00 pm  
Anonymous marly said...

Hey Clare--
Left you a link elsewhere, since you've asked in two places!

Mon Oct 02, 10:55:00 pm  
Blogger Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Wow. That's a daunting task!

I just wanted to drop by all the BAFAB sites and say hello. I'm one of the "organized" ones, as you called me (I call it desperate to get my name out there, myself!), and I think BAFAB week is so much fun and such a neat way to pull people together...

Good luck with the contest!

Tue Oct 03, 01:11:00 am  
Blogger Anne S said...

Hi Clare,

Here's mine in Strine (


Robit likt nuthin betta than been laisy. Heed lyinbed all mornin and daydrim of been rich and famus.

Wunday hizmum came in and arsed “Whacha doin Robbit, lyin theer aldy doinuthin. Wydonche godo the fudy with yerdad?”

“Carnbe bothered” sed Robbit, “Imtutied.”

Juzthen the dog starred barkin likemad.

“Wosup?” Hizmum sed, ashy ranowt.

“Carmensey wodesgot, Robit”, she cald.

Robit godup an wendu twinder an looktout. Rusti thadog adder posman baildup adegait.

“Leddim go”, Robbit yeld, “ya mungrel”.

Hesied inwadly angodrest. “Nopice forth wicket”, hesed toimself.

Bithatime egoto thegait, rusti hadeeten the posmansat.

“Donwurry, wilpayfort”, Robit toltim. “Coodabeen wurs”, hesed

If you want a translation let me know.


Tue Oct 03, 06:45:00 am  
Anonymous aynuknayli said...

Yow sed yowd giv mee a bukk if oi sed wot mee giltee plezhus woz. Trubbel iz oive red thet bukk n oi doan rayt it meself armean eez dun a bostin job n orl but now won speeks loik that. Enny rowd upp, spoze oid berra mike it cleeyer thet th undradunwon wairds down start yet becuz this iz just thay preelimmynerry eggsplanishun. Enny rowd upp, earwigow:

Giltee plezhus

Moi giltee plezhu iz gowin whilin. Oi now itz frarnd aponn theez dize eeven thow them jappeenees n fareow oilanduz doo it orl th toim. Orl th bezt plices ta gow whilin r quoit remout rerly n yowve gorra now whairta lukk n thenn sneek up upon ya qwarree ta mike shoor nowbodee elz gets thair ferst.
Trubbliz the ruffer it is the mor chanz yowll gerra punkcha or looza spowk from ya while an if yower not cairfull yowll fall darn the qwarree, biykanorl. If yow carn foind a qwarree yow cn gow ta th futt uv yower stairz instedd.

Tue Oct 03, 01:36:00 pm  
Blogger marlyat2 said...

Okay, just for the frolic of the thing, here is:


Dah-an Machl thot hay wuz jestaplayin til shay saw thet bigolgun.

“Gidaown, bigmama,” hay sed. Shay dungotdaown, qwiklak! Thahul Bu-D Skool jumpd daown.

It hapnd at Blayloks in Looziana.

Jered Gipsn waz werin a mask an tuk muny frum girlz and tchurs. Hay aven tuk frum Abrum Bishup! Gipsn skamprd fur tha dor, an Dah-an, shay tukherawhim ta stikowt her laig… Hay tuktaflyin, raht intathawal! Miz Machl, she holurzowt, “Git that Suker!” and thimgurlz jumpdup, grabd kurlinahrns ana brok cheerlaig an haytnbonets, an thay whumpd hizsoryas butgud.

MizBlaylok sez, “Thay whoopdthahel outta thet maan.”

Thasaltroo. It waz in the Shravport paypr.

Tue Oct 03, 05:07:00 pm  
Anonymous aynoknayli said...

shreevport saunds just loik dudlay.

Tue Oct 03, 05:41:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan said...

Aim nought gying to lowah myself to thys saute of rahbbish. Aim march too porsche for thart. Mye mather once exclaymed that wan shood nevah lowah wans self to thah levarl orf populah competishun.

Aim certain howevah thart if aye poot my quite considerahble mynd to thah tarsk, aye would wark away with thah pryze. Howevah, aize aym nought gying too doo thart, aye will certainly nought.

Tue Oct 03, 11:02:00 pm  
Anonymous clare said...

Four entries so far. Thank you so much. I am delighted. Now one of the comments on Aydin's blog suggests that I get my computer to read them out loud - which I think could be very interesting - to see if I can hear an accent.

Tue Oct 03, 11:56:00 pm  
Anonymous marly said...

Duz Dudlay heva paypr?

Wed Oct 04, 12:55:00 am  
Anonymous aynuknayli said...

corzitazarkid - wharrelz wudya rapyower maggotzupin?

Wed Oct 04, 09:22:00 am  
Anonymous crimeficreader said...

Good to see the closing date is Halloween, Clare. My brain may have time to resurface by then to have a go!

Thu Oct 05, 08:58:00 pm  
Anonymous clare said...

Looking forward to seeing this CFR.

Sat Oct 07, 12:25:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is the old joke I referred to above:

Wed Oct 11, 01:12:00 am  
Anonymous Maxine said...

Here is mine:

Won daie the peepel from the counsil gave us a compost bin. We put it in our garden. We had to uproot a bush sew it wood fit. Our bush woz much prittiuh than the uglee bin. I had two go outside a lot to put the tee leefs and vejutubl bits in. When I lifted the lid orf, flies came owt.

One day by accidunt I put all the peelingz and stuff into the main dustbin. It felt gude. I did it the next day two, and the next. That week, the dustmen took the rubbish without reelizing. I larfed.


Sun Oct 15, 07:17:00 pm  
Anonymous clare said...

Thank you Maxine - I'm delighted you've entered.

Sun Oct 15, 11:47:00 pm  
Anonymous Ghez Hu said...

Well, we've had Australian, Mountain American, English Black Country, and most obscure and difficult of all, upper class English. I was tempted to delve into my Cental Asian roots, but thought I'd settle for standard English. Like aynuknali, I've read the book already, but I enjoyed it. However, I don't have an email address.

Plezhus Giltee

Th plezhus ud bin akyoozd uv mennee things: yooreenaytin in dorewayz, kronnik farmersuiteekull abyoose, antisowshull beyayvyuh, insitemunt ta riyut, but nowboddee ud ad th kuridj ta bring thum ta fase dyoo prowsess uv lore before. Th plezhus ud kulteevaytid n immidj uv devul-make-air rebelyun ova thair long kreerz, but now thair pidzunz ud kum howm ta roozt n thaiy wuh krappin on evreething. Th sentnz wuz giltee. Th judj ajustid hiz wig, swurld hiz roabz, n cleeyerd his throwt. Hee got inta bedd. Tmorrow wud beeya big day. Sentnzing tiym. A diffeekult sentnz. But not uz diffeekult uz mowst uv theze.

Mon Oct 16, 02:16:00 pm  
Anonymous Ghez Hu said...

Sorry, "pidzunz" should have been "pidjunz"; "pidzunz" doesn't make any sense. Apologies for the confusion.

Wed Oct 18, 10:49:00 am  
Anonymous clare said...

Ah, thank you Ghez Hu - I was puzzled, obviously...

Wed Oct 18, 10:57:00 am  

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