Creatures of the Night
So what can I do to chase away the noise these creatures make? Last night I went to my study and switched on the Mac. I listened to McEwan's Solar and it seemed that every word delighted me. Eventually I plugged in my earphones and listened in bed, and night became day, and the birds started taking gasps of breath to sing as loudly as they could, and the creatures beneath our house became sluggish, and then, as the narrator of the book went on, began to fall asleep too.
I woke then, and there were pieces of the McEwan that I'd missed, and there was nothing else to do but play them again. At last the book was finished, and I decided that the book was, in the end, about love. I found it very touching. Altogether a great book.
I have no idea what I did the rest of the day. I answered emails. I downloaded some more audiobooks, and now have a Zadie Smith's On Beauty, Sebastian Barry's Secret Scripture, and Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore waiting for me when life resumes to normal and I take my place in the gym. Then tonight I marzipanned my cake.
For now the grey creatures are quiet. But then they only come out in the middle of the night. They thrive, I know, on my fears. When they come close my rib cage seems to flex and then tighten. You are not here, I tell them. But they know that they are.