Does everyone feel like this? Like they don’t really belong, that they are somehow out of step, that there is something they should know, if only someone would tell them? I remember the first time I felt it. I was at school and someone said I should read out the passage in the concert. There was something strange about the way I read, apparently, something that made people listen. I had, I learnt later, an accent that was different from everyone else’s around me. I was a stranger - and I don’t think the feeling has ever left me. I have always felt out of place as if I don’t belong. I would declare my Otherness stridently, proudly, even thought the accent soon faded. For a time I went back to this place where I came from. I taught for a few years in an Other school. I thought I’d feel at home but I didn’t. 'That’s not how you say it, Miss..'. It was too late by then of course. My accent had changed to something else. Like a sound-chameleon my voice adapts, but the heart of me takes longer.
I've just worked out I have written more than 26 000 words this week. Of course most of them are rubbish. I started with this and then forgot I'd got it. I just came across it now on my desk top now and thought I'd post it up here. What else are blogs for?