Wednesday, May 03, 2006

X by Dr Grump

I saw Ben Peek was doing this meme thing where he gives you a letter and you have to choose 10 words beginning with that letter and say why they are important, so, since I like to join in I asked him for a letter and the one he gave me is an X.

The XXXXXXX, or the XXXXXXX XXXXXXX as D H Lawrence wouldn't say....

Anyway, the task was beyond me so I've handed it on to my friend Dr Grump who has a PhD in sexual dynamics and etymology and is working at the Institute of Moral Hygiene at the University of Urm.

1. X = kiss, like the girl in the car park just below my window is giving to some guy three times her height, which is more accurately a snog I reckon, because it has been going on for at least five minutes now, not that I'm looking.

2. X = 10 if you are a Roman, and 10 out of 10 is pretty darned good (though 13 is better, apparently). Which I guess is the score for the coupling that is still going on below my window, not that I'm looking, as I say.

3. X-rated. Because explicit is best. No argument from the car park.

4. X = X-chromosome (two of these are essential in order to make the perfect human being).

5. xenophobia = fear of people from outside - very important word - has caused all sorts of trouble including every war and every battle. However since it is part of our make-up as an animal and our struggle to survive and pass on all those X-chromosomes to grateful offspring it looks like it will be with us for some time yet. Make love not war - oh you are, please do carry on, never mind me.

6. X- generation = Those people who are sceptical about traditionally held beliefs about religion and family. Needs no further explanation and exemplified beautifully by couple outside window.

7. X = The first variable yet to be ascertained in a mathematical problem as in 'If A is the amount of air in lungs and B is the amount expended per minute during average snog - what is X - the time of the snog in minutes?'.

8. X-ray = because it is good to see inside people sometimes - WITHOUT using tongues.

9. Xylophone = because it gives a sweet sound - er rather like young love.

10. Xenon = because it is a noble gas, just goes around making no trouble, interfering with no one, minding its own business. Look, would you mind stopping doing that, now. It's very distracting, I'm absolutely certain I never did that sort of thing at your age and besides - I think she's turning purple.


Blogger Jonathan Wonham said...


And isn't Xavier a marvellous name?

Thu May 04, 12:16:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Xemplary post! I am so impressed. I've also asked Ben for a letter and promised to make very word crime fiction related. Hmm, what have I done? All in good fun - it keeps me happy. Do you think they do this in Bhutan?

Thu May 04, 01:03:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


that's great :)

Thu May 04, 02:25:00 am  
Blogger Kay Cooke said...

That's eXtremely amusing! Good one. Three cheers for the couple in the carpark! He must've had a sore neck - you did say he was three times her height? That's a fair bit of craning going on there ... :)

Thu May 04, 12:26:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr Grump is most gratified. She tells me to pass on her thanks and good wishes, and says that if anybody fancies playing this game she will also be happy to give them a letter.

Xavier - yes it is her favourite name, after Oedipus (but that is for professional reasons)

She has little experience of Bhutan but has conducted field work in other hilly areas and reports a lack of internet access and oxygen which has detrimental effects on on-line blogging...and other activity.

She thanks Ben for giving her this valuable opportunity to express herself.

Chiefbiscuit: She reports that very sadly the young man in question now seems to be sporting a neck brace. She did mutter something about poetic justice later, but it was a bad line and I am sure she must have been referring to some other matter.

Thu May 04, 10:40:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan Wonham said...

Dear Dr Grump, please could you prescribe me a letter? Thank you.

Thu May 04, 11:32:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jonathan: Dr Grump prescribed L (then muttered something like 'Oh la la' - but she is a bit eccentric sometimes)

Fri May 05, 08:06:00 pm  

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